The bell rings at Apex High, signaling the start of class in every period, yet students often arrive
late. The moment they arrive, a high-stakes question arises: What is the explanation for their
tardiness? I investigated the most imaginative excuses offered in our halls, collecting quotes
from students and the staff who evaluate them.
The reasons behind the delay often involve a conflict between punctuality and pure absurdity.
Sometimes, the need for caffeine or a quick breakfast wins the morning battle, but other times,
the explanation is simply fiction.
The students themselves offer tales of extreme obstacles. Student Elias R. paused when asked for
his craziest excuse: “I told my teacher that my little sister hid my car keys inside a frozen
chicken nugget package, and I had to microwave it carefully to retrieve them.” Caitlin shared a
detailed story of a wildlife confrontation: “I claimed I was late because a flock of aggressive
geese adopted my backpack as their nest, and I had to negotiate a peaceful resolution before I
could leave.”
Our administrators and teachers are seasoned experts who hear both the absurd and the routine
truth. Mr. Zies, Assistant Principal, noted a persistent priority issue: “The most common excuse
is a little far off from the truth. A student will walk in twenty minutes late and say, ‘Sorry, I hit
traffic,’ when we all know the traffic jam was at the Starbucks drive-thru, or maybe the line at
Bojangles or Dunkin’ was too long to manage.” Ms. Amend, our Animal Science teacher, shared a highly unusual delay: “A student once claimed they were delayed because their cat began
reciting Shakespeare, and they had to stay to record the monologue for my class.”
These wild stories are hilarious, showing the sharp imagination of students and the patience of
our staff. But the real lesson for all Apex High students is clear: presence and punctuality are the
keys to academic success. Skip the coffee line and get to class—save your creativity for your
assignments, not for explaining Shakespeare-reciting cats.