The term “third spaces” refers to places outside our homes and school or work, where we can socialize, be comfortable, and enjoy ourselves. Think libraries, gyms, cafes, parks, or even a place of worship. These spaces play an important role in our well-being and sense of community.

When I think of third spaces, my mind goes to examples I’ve seen in movies and TV. Shows like Friends, where the group all meet up at their favorite cafe to drink coffee and talk almost daily. Or the How I Met Your Mother crew, always meeting up at their local pub. But I struggle to come up with real life examples of these. I almost never meet with my friends at a park, or a cafe, instead it’s always hanging at someone’s house or going for a drive. Why is this? Where has the art of the “chill spot” gone? 

A major contribution to this disappearance is corporate influence. Here in Apex, there are very few examples of local cafes or places that prioritize creating space for casual, spontaneous socializing. They’re replaced by massive commercial chains, corporate-owned places like Starbucks, that focus on efficiency and profit. These places lack that much-needed authenticity, a major characteristic of the traditional third space. 

But what is in my opinion a larger part of the issue, is the cultural shift we are currently in the midst of, one centered on individualism. People are more likely to spend their free time on solitary activities, it is far more normalized to stay in and binge-watch their favorite TV-show, or work on personal hobbies. Declining social capital is also a part of this shift, as trust in institutions and local communities decline, fewer people are motivated to engage in these spaces, thus leading to less opportunities for connection with a neighbor or a member of your community. 

And while I don’t think this is necessarily a horrible thing– of course I’ve spent hours comfortable in my home binging a show or reading a book– and much as I do not mean to sound like a bitter old man yelling about how good it used to be, I do believe in the importance of having these spaces to socialize. You could go years without ever meeting a neighbor of yours, or seeing a classmate you get along with outside of school, so it’s hard for us to have that sense of community I believe most people long for. 

So looking ahead, third spaces will need to evolve to stay relevant. Our state government and cities can play a big role in making sure these spaces remain inclusive and welcoming to all. Public spaces, like parks or community centers, can be designed to encourage social interaction, while businesses can create environments where people feel comfortable hanging out without pressure. And then maybe, more of us would feel like we can go hang with members of our community and be ourselves at a place that isn’t home or school.